I think the thing at the moment is that I can't react to this feeling in any of the ways I used to - in the past when it's got like this I've either changed jobs (or even careers), indulged in a (relatively) dangerous sport (the caving/climbing mountains used to give me the excitement I craved), or gone travelling, none of which are viable options at the moment with the family commitments I've got in hand. What worries me is that I know that if I let it go on like this, I'm likely to start getting depressed, which would be no good for any of us, or end up kicking out and doing something daft as an over-reaction - not a good behaviour pattern in a woman with my responsibilities!