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To be 18 again...
Sep. 4th, 2003 01:24 pmNo thanks (although I’d quite like my 18-year-old body back...).
When I was 18 I was so mixed up, and well into my off-the-rails period. I was hanging out with some odd (though also lovely) people, and taking far too many drugs (never anything that involved needles, mind - stupid I may have been, but not that stupid). At least I was (just about) hanging in there with my education - I had enough sense to realise that I didn’t want to be stacking supermarket shelves at 40 with no choices and no prospects. I had no idea where I was going or what I wanted to do with my life (still don’t, to some extent, but I’m much more content now to take what comes and trust that things will work out one way or another, without worrying so much about it all).
And there were some consolations - J, for one, he of the long ash-blond hair, earring, leathers and motorbike. He was quite gorgeous, but he was a bit of a psycho and quite mentally damaged, so I have to file him under ‘mixed blessings’. The only man I’ve ever let break my heart - I learned from that experience.
I can’t say I regret the things I did and the experiences I had, because they all went into making up the me I am today, who while not perfect is at least someone I can on the whole live with. But no, unless the deal involves me being 18 again but knowing everything I know now, I don’t think I want to go there again.
When I was 18 I was so mixed up, and well into my off-the-rails period. I was hanging out with some odd (though also lovely) people, and taking far too many drugs (never anything that involved needles, mind - stupid I may have been, but not that stupid). At least I was (just about) hanging in there with my education - I had enough sense to realise that I didn’t want to be stacking supermarket shelves at 40 with no choices and no prospects. I had no idea where I was going or what I wanted to do with my life (still don’t, to some extent, but I’m much more content now to take what comes and trust that things will work out one way or another, without worrying so much about it all).
And there were some consolations - J, for one, he of the long ash-blond hair, earring, leathers and motorbike. He was quite gorgeous, but he was a bit of a psycho and quite mentally damaged, so I have to file him under ‘mixed blessings’. The only man I’ve ever let break my heart - I learned from that experience.
I can’t say I regret the things I did and the experiences I had, because they all went into making up the me I am today, who while not perfect is at least someone I can on the whole live with. But no, unless the deal involves me being 18 again but knowing everything I know now, I don’t think I want to go there again.
